Jian Yang is the only man who can ruin a million dollar company and still look like he is the one who was wronged.

Take the SSH key. Erlich Bachman hands him the most sensitive piece of code in the house, and Jian Yang does what any rational genius would do: he eats it. Not deletes it. Not loses it. Eats it. Then he looks Erlich dead in the eye like a toddler with chocolate on his face.

And the accent? “Eric Bachman.” Sir, his name is Erlich. But Jian Yang has decided that Erlich is simply too much for his mouth, so he downgraded him to Eric. Free of charge.

Then comes the greatest lie in Silicon Valley history. Everyone is panicking, the servers are in danger, and Jian Yang calmly announces that Bachman is dead. Dead! The man is standing in the next room eating cereal. Jian Yang just wanted the conversation to end.